Don't forget to bring your kids to Lake Pelham Drive in Lakeview subdivision tonight @ 6pm. Movies, candy, Holy Ghost Hayride, Moon Bounce, Fun, Fun and more Fun!!!
Look forward to seeing you there!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Where Death Once Was, Life Will Be Given
This weekend, the Lord is blessing City on a Hill Church with a facility that will serve as our permanent facility for our office, sanctuary and classrooms. We've moved into a building located at 405 Sperryville Pike that is currently used as a retail store and offices for AT&T Wireless. This building was once owned and used as a funeral home many years ago. On the ground floor, there is a beautiful sanctuary space. I'll be finishing up some the details in preparing our space for its inaugural service on Saturday evening.
Since launching in August, we've hosted services in three different places. I didn't really want to jump around that much, but circumstances dictated those moves. I couldn't be happier about our new facility and its potential to impact our community.
I would like to invite you to join us tomorrow evening as we host our service at 6pm. We'll be led with live worship, have a stimulating message topic and the kids will be having fun in their classroom. We'll also receive communion since it's the first weekend of the month.
Since launching in August, we've hosted services in three different places. I didn't really want to jump around that much, but circumstances dictated those moves. I couldn't be happier about our new facility and its potential to impact our community.
I would like to invite you to join us tomorrow evening as we host our service at 6pm. We'll be led with live worship, have a stimulating message topic and the kids will be having fun in their classroom. We'll also receive communion since it's the first weekend of the month.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 16
Love Intercedes
So often, we want to change our spouse. We know him/her better than anyone else, and we want to change the faults that lie within his/her personality and behavior. Has your nagging born the fruit you want? What we have to realize is that we're never going to change our mate - no matter how hard we try! Only God changes people.
Prayer is the most effective way to change situations and people because we're letting God do His thing. Taking The Love Dare seriously, the person who will first be changed is you! Like a farmer, you shouldn't focus on the seed itself, but ensure that the environment in which the seed is planted has the most potential for that seed's growth. Like a farmer, you can't affect the seed itself, instead nurture the soil and depend on God's providence and sovereignty for the results.
When was the last time you prayed for your mate? When was the last time you turned your complaints into prayers? If your spouse doesn't know the Lord, that's where your prayers need to start. Then move towards what your mate needs: his heart, her attitude, truth, forgiveness and a breakthrough in your marriage.
So often, we want to change our spouse. We know him/her better than anyone else, and we want to change the faults that lie within his/her personality and behavior. Has your nagging born the fruit you want? What we have to realize is that we're never going to change our mate - no matter how hard we try! Only God changes people.
Prayer is the most effective way to change situations and people because we're letting God do His thing. Taking The Love Dare seriously, the person who will first be changed is you! Like a farmer, you shouldn't focus on the seed itself, but ensure that the environment in which the seed is planted has the most potential for that seed's growth. Like a farmer, you can't affect the seed itself, instead nurture the soil and depend on God's providence and sovereignty for the results.
When was the last time you prayed for your mate? When was the last time you turned your complaints into prayers? If your spouse doesn't know the Lord, that's where your prayers need to start. Then move towards what your mate needs: his heart, her attitude, truth, forgiveness and a breakthrough in your marriage.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 15
Again, I apologize for missing the last few days. Let's keep this rolling, though. It's good stuff!
Love is Honorable
The authors of The Love Dare really hit on something that is difficult within many marriages in our culture today: honor. 1 Peter 3:17 instructs us to "live with your wives in an understanding way... and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life." This instruction is not just for husbands towards their wives, but for any man or woman towards their spouse. It's reciprocal.
What does it mean to honor someone? I immediately think of someone of royalty or the Scripture that instructs us to honor our parents. But when we honor our mate, its the little things that go a long way. When your pouse wants to talk, do you put aside the magazine or newspaper? Do you turn off the TV? Do you take what your spouse says seriously? Is your language clean, courteous and polite?
Honoring your spouse also contains within it the concept of recognizing that he/she is holy. We often hear a marriage as being described as holy matrimony. The authors of The Love Dare write, "This means no other person in the whole world is supposed to enjoy this level of commitment and endearment from you." I can't help but think that many men and women in our community are sharing this level of commitment and endearment to other things and people like jobs, hobbies and friends.
"How can I honor my spouse when he/she doesn't honor me?" you may ask. It may be difficult, but we are called to honor our mate no matter what - even when it's rejected. We must make the decision to stand and say, "With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults - past and present - I still choose to love and honor you." This is what leading your heart into true love looks like.
Love is Honorable
The authors of The Love Dare really hit on something that is difficult within many marriages in our culture today: honor. 1 Peter 3:17 instructs us to "live with your wives in an understanding way... and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life." This instruction is not just for husbands towards their wives, but for any man or woman towards their spouse. It's reciprocal.
What does it mean to honor someone? I immediately think of someone of royalty or the Scripture that instructs us to honor our parents. But when we honor our mate, its the little things that go a long way. When your pouse wants to talk, do you put aside the magazine or newspaper? Do you turn off the TV? Do you take what your spouse says seriously? Is your language clean, courteous and polite?
Honoring your spouse also contains within it the concept of recognizing that he/she is holy. We often hear a marriage as being described as holy matrimony. The authors of The Love Dare write, "This means no other person in the whole world is supposed to enjoy this level of commitment and endearment from you." I can't help but think that many men and women in our community are sharing this level of commitment and endearment to other things and people like jobs, hobbies and friends.
"How can I honor my spouse when he/she doesn't honor me?" you may ask. It may be difficult, but we are called to honor our mate no matter what - even when it's rejected. We must make the decision to stand and say, "With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults - past and present - I still choose to love and honor you." This is what leading your heart into true love looks like.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
God's Moving & Using COAHC
I apologize for not blogging these last few days. God has been on the move, and my attention has been diverted to other things. I'll continue our Love Dare tomorrow morning.
Meanwhile, City on a Hill Church has been given some wonderful opportunities to impact our community. Last Saturday, the local newspaper published an article about us. You can read it here. I'll take a moment to address the obvious miscommunication regarding being "seeker sensitive". Every church that is interested in reaching its community is seeker sensitive to varying degrees. City on a Hill Church has a heart and passion for reaching and impacting Culpeper, especially those who don't currently know the Lord.
On Saturday morning, we gave out nearly $100 in postage stamps to our community. One lady asked me, "Why are you doing this?" I responded, "To show God's love in a practical way." She said as she took the stamps from me, "I'll take practical!" Most everyone in our community needs practical help and relevant ministry in these trying times. That's what Jesus did! He met the practical needs (feeding, healing, etc.) of those He encountered.
This Friday, we're partnering with New Salem Baptist Church for some Harvest Festival fun!
Next Tuesday (Nov 4) @ 6:30pm, we're hosting Rick Heeren to lead the community in a discussion about transforming Culpeper into a unified, reconciled community that is centered in Christ. Everyone is invited to this event, but we need you to RSVP to info(at)cityonahillculpeper(dot)org.
Lastly, we're hosting our first service at our new, permanent facility this weekend located at 405 Sperryville Pike.
Check out our website as its been updated to be a little more user friendly and have more content that is relevant to how we're reaching our community!
Meanwhile, City on a Hill Church has been given some wonderful opportunities to impact our community. Last Saturday, the local newspaper published an article about us. You can read it here. I'll take a moment to address the obvious miscommunication regarding being "seeker sensitive". Every church that is interested in reaching its community is seeker sensitive to varying degrees. City on a Hill Church has a heart and passion for reaching and impacting Culpeper, especially those who don't currently know the Lord.
On Saturday morning, we gave out nearly $100 in postage stamps to our community. One lady asked me, "Why are you doing this?" I responded, "To show God's love in a practical way." She said as she took the stamps from me, "I'll take practical!" Most everyone in our community needs practical help and relevant ministry in these trying times. That's what Jesus did! He met the practical needs (feeding, healing, etc.) of those He encountered.
This Friday, we're partnering with New Salem Baptist Church for some Harvest Festival fun!
Next Tuesday (Nov 4) @ 6:30pm, we're hosting Rick Heeren to lead the community in a discussion about transforming Culpeper into a unified, reconciled community that is centered in Christ. Everyone is invited to this event, but we need you to RSVP to info(at)cityonahillculpeper(dot)org.
Lastly, we're hosting our first service at our new, permanent facility this weekend located at 405 Sperryville Pike.
Check out our website as its been updated to be a little more user friendly and have more content that is relevant to how we're reaching our community!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 14
Love Takes Delight
The current theme in this book is that our feelings can't run our lives. We must lead our emotions with decisions and deliberation. If we allow our feelings to determine how strong our marriage relationship is, we're doomed!
The dare today is to lead your heart to delight in your mate. Enjoy your spouse through companionship and conversation! You delighted in your spouse when you first married. Recapture that emotion by leading your heart in that direction.
My wife recently took this dare. She accepted an invitation of mine to join me in going to see the Washington Redskins play last weekend. My wife isn't much of a football fan and she definitely isn't the type to yell loudly at exciting plays. But she made the decision to spend time with me and delight in me in an experience that wasn't exactly her cup of tea - just so we could be together.
We had a blast, though! It was so good to spend time with her in the car driving to and from the stadium. Towards the end of the game, she was even standing up and clapping her hands while I was shouting so loudly that I lost my voice!
The point is that she decided to delight in me. She endured one of my favorite pasttimes in order to spend time with me and share an experience with me. Our relationship was strengthened because not only did she choose me, but her choice resulted in a wonderful day!
I appreciate her decision, and I look forward to the opportunity when I can choose to delight in her for a day's event of her desire.
The current theme in this book is that our feelings can't run our lives. We must lead our emotions with decisions and deliberation. If we allow our feelings to determine how strong our marriage relationship is, we're doomed!
The dare today is to lead your heart to delight in your mate. Enjoy your spouse through companionship and conversation! You delighted in your spouse when you first married. Recapture that emotion by leading your heart in that direction.
My wife recently took this dare. She accepted an invitation of mine to join me in going to see the Washington Redskins play last weekend. My wife isn't much of a football fan and she definitely isn't the type to yell loudly at exciting plays. But she made the decision to spend time with me and delight in me in an experience that wasn't exactly her cup of tea - just so we could be together.
We had a blast, though! It was so good to spend time with her in the car driving to and from the stadium. Towards the end of the game, she was even standing up and clapping her hands while I was shouting so loudly that I lost my voice!
The point is that she decided to delight in me. She endured one of my favorite pasttimes in order to spend time with me and share an experience with me. Our relationship was strengthened because not only did she choose me, but her choice resulted in a wonderful day!
I appreciate her decision, and I look forward to the opportunity when I can choose to delight in her for a day's event of her desire.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 13
Love Fights Fair
Conflict is a part of this fallen world. And because we're all imperfect and self-centered, our marriage will have conflict. It's not if, but when. So, the question really becomes, "How do I manage conflict within my marriage so that it's not destructive?"
The authors of The Love Dare have come up with some very helpful suggestions. In essence, all of us need to come up with rules of engagement that are healthy and restrains the potential for hurt. These rules include "we" boundaries and "me" boundaries.
Some "we" boundaries that are helpful include:
1) We will never mention divorce.
2) We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.
3) We will never fight in public or in front of our children.
4) We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
5) We will never touch one another in a harmful way.
6) We will never go to bed angry with one another.
7) Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.
Some "me" boundaries include:
1) I will listen first before speaking.
2) I will deal with my own issues before pointing the finger.
3) I will speak gently and keep my voice down.
Turn conflict into something good for a change. Instead of fighting one another, fight for your marriage!
Conflict is a part of this fallen world. And because we're all imperfect and self-centered, our marriage will have conflict. It's not if, but when. So, the question really becomes, "How do I manage conflict within my marriage so that it's not destructive?"
The authors of The Love Dare have come up with some very helpful suggestions. In essence, all of us need to come up with rules of engagement that are healthy and restrains the potential for hurt. These rules include "we" boundaries and "me" boundaries.
Some "we" boundaries that are helpful include:
1) We will never mention divorce.
2) We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.
3) We will never fight in public or in front of our children.
4) We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
5) We will never touch one another in a harmful way.
6) We will never go to bed angry with one another.
7) Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.
Some "me" boundaries include:
1) I will listen first before speaking.
2) I will deal with my own issues before pointing the finger.
3) I will speak gently and keep my voice down.
Turn conflict into something good for a change. Instead of fighting one another, fight for your marriage!
Monday, October 20, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 12
Love Let's the Other Win
So often we find ourselves in arguments with our spouse about issues that don't really make much difference in the big picture - where to go for dinner, where to vacation, what color to paint the bedroom. Other decisions are more important - homeschooling vs. public schools, how to discipline your children, how many children you have...
When it comes to making decisions within the family, some men may try to use Ephesians 5:22-23 as the tool by which to get his way with everything. The problem with using Scripture to win an argument is forgetting that God's Word tells us to "Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ." (Ephesians 5:21) and "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4).
Jesus is the model in this attitude. He submitted His will to God's will. He was willing to lay down His Divinity for flesh, his life for torture and death. Each of us should be willing to sacrifice our desires for our mate.
When was the last time you said, "Let's do what you would like to this time."? Be careful not to have the attitude, "Whatever! I really don't care!" Instead, be deliberate to show your mate that you care more about him/her than you do about winning an argument. Just as importantly, don't sulk about not winning afterwards and don't keep track of how many times you've given in compared to your spouse. Love doesn't keep count.
Be willing. Be submissive. Be deliberate about it. Be joyful about it!
So often we find ourselves in arguments with our spouse about issues that don't really make much difference in the big picture - where to go for dinner, where to vacation, what color to paint the bedroom. Other decisions are more important - homeschooling vs. public schools, how to discipline your children, how many children you have...
When it comes to making decisions within the family, some men may try to use Ephesians 5:22-23 as the tool by which to get his way with everything. The problem with using Scripture to win an argument is forgetting that God's Word tells us to "Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ." (Ephesians 5:21) and "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4).
Jesus is the model in this attitude. He submitted His will to God's will. He was willing to lay down His Divinity for flesh, his life for torture and death. Each of us should be willing to sacrifice our desires for our mate.
When was the last time you said, "Let's do what you would like to this time."? Be careful not to have the attitude, "Whatever! I really don't care!" Instead, be deliberate to show your mate that you care more about him/her than you do about winning an argument. Just as importantly, don't sulk about not winning afterwards and don't keep track of how many times you've given in compared to your spouse. Love doesn't keep count.
Be willing. Be submissive. Be deliberate about it. Be joyful about it!
Friday, October 17, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 11
Sorry I missed yesterday. It was one of those days....
Love Cherishes
The Bibles explains that when two people get married, they become one (Genesis 2:23-24). Something divinely supernatural happens when two people join together in matrimony. What happens to one affects both. There's no getting around that! We've all experienced it in one way or another.
If I act unkindly to my wife, it not only affects her, but both of us suffer as a result of my actions toward her. When a man and woman get divorced, a part of their body, their very existence, is ripped from them. The Bible instructs men to love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28). Unless you're football lineman Trevor Wifre from Mesa State College, not many men would voluntarily separate a part of their body. I wonder if he'll look at his future wife as he did his pinky finger: "If she's broken and stands in the way of my happiness and goals, then I'll simply remove her from my life." I hope not!
The authors of The Love Dare remind us, "When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life." This weekend find a way to show your spouse just how much you cherish him/her.
Love Cherishes
The Bibles explains that when two people get married, they become one (Genesis 2:23-24). Something divinely supernatural happens when two people join together in matrimony. What happens to one affects both. There's no getting around that! We've all experienced it in one way or another.
If I act unkindly to my wife, it not only affects her, but both of us suffer as a result of my actions toward her. When a man and woman get divorced, a part of their body, their very existence, is ripped from them. The Bible instructs men to love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28). Unless you're football lineman Trevor Wifre from Mesa State College, not many men would voluntarily separate a part of their body. I wonder if he'll look at his future wife as he did his pinky finger: "If she's broken and stands in the way of my happiness and goals, then I'll simply remove her from my life." I hope not!
The authors of The Love Dare remind us, "When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life." This weekend find a way to show your spouse just how much you cherish him/her.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 10
Love is Unconditional
Whenever athletes are coached, one of the most important things they practice are the fundamentals. Attention to the basics is one of the most important things in almost any endeavor. This is true when it comes to marriage. The fundamental foundation of marriage is love. If we don't know how to love, then our marriage will not become all that God intended it to be.
The love we're called to have in our marriage is not a love based on friendship and it's not a love based on sexual passion. It's a love that is based on the same kind of love that God offers to us. The Bible tells us that we love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19).
Too often a person's love for his/her mate is based on what the person does, who he/she is or how he/she looks. Love within the context of marriage needs to be more profound than that because people's behaviors change and their looks change over the years. Each one of us needs to decide that we will love our spouse unconditionally because that is what God has called us to do. What's more, God demonstrates that same kind of love toward us. This is our chance to be like God!
Some of us may struggle with this because we haven't allowed ourselves to experience this kind of love from God. We haven't truly understood how deep God's love is for us. We must get back to the basics. We must not only understand but also experience God's forgiving, graceful, unconditional love. When we get that fundamental down, then we can move on to the next thing: sharing that same kind of love with our spouse.
Whenever athletes are coached, one of the most important things they practice are the fundamentals. Attention to the basics is one of the most important things in almost any endeavor. This is true when it comes to marriage. The fundamental foundation of marriage is love. If we don't know how to love, then our marriage will not become all that God intended it to be.
The love we're called to have in our marriage is not a love based on friendship and it's not a love based on sexual passion. It's a love that is based on the same kind of love that God offers to us. The Bible tells us that we love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19).
Too often a person's love for his/her mate is based on what the person does, who he/she is or how he/she looks. Love within the context of marriage needs to be more profound than that because people's behaviors change and their looks change over the years. Each one of us needs to decide that we will love our spouse unconditionally because that is what God has called us to do. What's more, God demonstrates that same kind of love toward us. This is our chance to be like God!
Some of us may struggle with this because we haven't allowed ourselves to experience this kind of love from God. We haven't truly understood how deep God's love is for us. We must get back to the basics. We must not only understand but also experience God's forgiving, graceful, unconditional love. When we get that fundamental down, then we can move on to the next thing: sharing that same kind of love with our spouse.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 9
Love Makes Good Impressions
To this point, The Love Dare has instructed us in ways we can make deliberate decisions to improve our love relationship with our spouse. We've learned how to be encouraging, kind, selfless and humble. Today, we need to remind ourselves not to take our mate for granted by the way we speak to him/her.
Jesus said, "Whatever is in your heart determines what you say." (Luke 6:45 NLT) When we say hello to our spouse, is our greeting forced? Is it so short that it takes little to no energy? Do we move on without taking the time to hear the response?
The Apostle Paul takes time to greet a number of different people in his letters to the different churches. He tells us to greet your brothers and sisters with a holy kiss. Jesus reminds us that it's easy to greet our friends nicely, but that we're also called to greet our enemies in a kind way.
Take the time in your busy day to greet your spouse that demonstrates deep, affectionate love. Remember that your love is seen in your body language and heard in the tone of your voice and the words you choose. Add some enthusiasm to your greeting. Let your spouse know you're glad to see him/her or happy to speak to him/her. Don't rush. Be patient and considerate when listening to the response. Chances are that you will learn something important with regard to how your mate is feeling in how he/she responds.
A sincere smile coupled with enthusaistic and loving words can do wonders for just about anyone!
To this point, The Love Dare has instructed us in ways we can make deliberate decisions to improve our love relationship with our spouse. We've learned how to be encouraging, kind, selfless and humble. Today, we need to remind ourselves not to take our mate for granted by the way we speak to him/her.
Jesus said, "Whatever is in your heart determines what you say." (Luke 6:45 NLT) When we say hello to our spouse, is our greeting forced? Is it so short that it takes little to no energy? Do we move on without taking the time to hear the response?
The Apostle Paul takes time to greet a number of different people in his letters to the different churches. He tells us to greet your brothers and sisters with a holy kiss. Jesus reminds us that it's easy to greet our friends nicely, but that we're also called to greet our enemies in a kind way.
Take the time in your busy day to greet your spouse that demonstrates deep, affectionate love. Remember that your love is seen in your body language and heard in the tone of your voice and the words you choose. Add some enthusiasm to your greeting. Let your spouse know you're glad to see him/her or happy to speak to him/her. Don't rush. Be patient and considerate when listening to the response. Chances are that you will learn something important with regard to how your mate is feeling in how he/she responds.
A sincere smile coupled with enthusaistic and loving words can do wonders for just about anyone!
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 8
Love is not jealous
I've seen too often a wife become jealous over her husband's career success as she stay home with young children. I've also seen a man get jealous over his wife's popularity among the neighborhood. She's receiving invitations to all sorts of social events while he's stuck at home working on landscaping. The authors of The Love Dare write, "It (love) leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them."
As a former athlete and former coach, I know firsthand the importance of encouragement - what I call "cheerleading". I want to be my wife's biggest cheerleader. I also hope that she'll be mine. As cheerleaders, we can help pick our mate up when he/she is discouraged after a tough day. We can help remind how wonderful the positive attributes are in our spouse. Those few, brief words offered can really make a huge difference!
When love overshadows jealousy in a marriage, suspicion and resentment disappear. Make a commitment to start cheering for your mate today!
I've seen too often a wife become jealous over her husband's career success as she stay home with young children. I've also seen a man get jealous over his wife's popularity among the neighborhood. She's receiving invitations to all sorts of social events while he's stuck at home working on landscaping. The authors of The Love Dare write, "It (love) leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them."
As a former athlete and former coach, I know firsthand the importance of encouragement - what I call "cheerleading". I want to be my wife's biggest cheerleader. I also hope that she'll be mine. As cheerleaders, we can help pick our mate up when he/she is discouraged after a tough day. We can help remind how wonderful the positive attributes are in our spouse. Those few, brief words offered can really make a huge difference!
When love overshadows jealousy in a marriage, suspicion and resentment disappear. Make a commitment to start cheering for your mate today!
Weekend Fun
Had a great weekend celebrating Abby Rae's 6th birthday. We had a little party on Sunday afternoon with some of her friends from the neighborhood and school. It's hard to believe it's been 6 years already. Before she went to bed last night, I told her what a blessing she is to me and how proud I was of her. I think parents should always take the time to speak encouraging words into children's lives. You can never do that enough!
I'll post again later today with the Love Dare - Day 8.
I'll post again later today with the Love Dare - Day 8.
Friday, October 10, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 7
No one's perfect. We've all heard that and probably said it at least once or twice in our lifetimes. It's easy to say when "the finger" is pointed at us. How quick, though, are we to recall this truth when we're the one pointing "the finger" at our mate?
When we're under stress, it's so much easier to find fault in others while we're quick to dismiss our own sin. We forget all the wonderful attributes about our spouse that drew us into the relationship with him/her. Remember the characteristics that made you want to marry your mate? Remember the compliments you paid one another when you were courting or during the early years of your marriage?
All of those compliments have been stored away in the memories of our mind, but it seems much easier to draw on the comments of depreciation. As we recall those comments of depreciation, we rehearse our response. Before we know it, we've created an argument in our own mind. We have stored ammunition for the next big fight. The biggest problem with this is that bitterness takes root in our marriage, and we can easily fall out of love if we dwell in this place too long.
As the dare has challenged us in previous days, we must choose to leave the depreciative comments behind and focus on the finer things about our mate. It's a conscience decision that we must all make each and every day - especially during times of stress in our marriage.
Sometime today, pick a positive attribute about your spouse and that him/her for having this characteristic.
When we're under stress, it's so much easier to find fault in others while we're quick to dismiss our own sin. We forget all the wonderful attributes about our spouse that drew us into the relationship with him/her. Remember the characteristics that made you want to marry your mate? Remember the compliments you paid one another when you were courting or during the early years of your marriage?
All of those compliments have been stored away in the memories of our mind, but it seems much easier to draw on the comments of depreciation. As we recall those comments of depreciation, we rehearse our response. Before we know it, we've created an argument in our own mind. We have stored ammunition for the next big fight. The biggest problem with this is that bitterness takes root in our marriage, and we can easily fall out of love if we dwell in this place too long.
As the dare has challenged us in previous days, we must choose to leave the depreciative comments behind and focus on the finer things about our mate. It's a conscience decision that we must all make each and every day - especially during times of stress in our marriage.
Sometime today, pick a positive attribute about your spouse and that him/her for having this characteristic.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 6
Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32
It's times like these that we all seem a little more irritable than normal. The economy has us under a great deal more pressure. What's happening with our retirement funds? Will we still be able to retire when we planned? Will we be able to afford to pay all of our bills this month? Is the bank going to finally send us the foreclosure notice we've been hoping to delay?
It seems like just one more little thing is going to send us over the deep end. What's going to be the final straw?
The authors of The Love Dare remind us that there are at least two key contributors to irritability: stress and selfishness. The Bible reminds us that there are ways we can overcome stress and selfishness. We don't have to surrender to the consequences of these tactics that the enemy of our souls uses in our lives.
Firstly, being deliberate about setting aside some time for worship and rest is a Biblical mandate for every one of us. It's called the Sabbath - one day a week when we give our calendars and agendas to the Lord for refreshment and refocus. Prioritizing God's will for your life above every other thing can do wonders for stress!
Every sin can be traced back to some form of selfishness or greed. Jesus demonstrated the ultimate act of selflessness, and He is our model in behavior and attitude. Set your mind on others and their needs. Your heart will follow, and soon your actions will demonstrate the love that God has for the other people in your world. As you go through your workday, look on your colleagues with the eyes of God instead of your own. See them as God sees them. As you look at your family, determine how God wants to meet their needs and then submit yourself to be used by God as His instrument in their lives.
There's an old saying that goes something like this: "Christians are a lot like tea bags. You don't know how strong they are until they're in hot water." In other words, our Christian witness is only as strong as our ability to walk in obedience and represent Christ's attitude when times are tough. The closer we get to God, the more we know Him and the more we're able to reflect Him in good times and bad. Commit to spending more time with God in the days ahead. You won't regret it!
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32
It's times like these that we all seem a little more irritable than normal. The economy has us under a great deal more pressure. What's happening with our retirement funds? Will we still be able to retire when we planned? Will we be able to afford to pay all of our bills this month? Is the bank going to finally send us the foreclosure notice we've been hoping to delay?
It seems like just one more little thing is going to send us over the deep end. What's going to be the final straw?
The authors of The Love Dare remind us that there are at least two key contributors to irritability: stress and selfishness. The Bible reminds us that there are ways we can overcome stress and selfishness. We don't have to surrender to the consequences of these tactics that the enemy of our souls uses in our lives.
Firstly, being deliberate about setting aside some time for worship and rest is a Biblical mandate for every one of us. It's called the Sabbath - one day a week when we give our calendars and agendas to the Lord for refreshment and refocus. Prioritizing God's will for your life above every other thing can do wonders for stress!
Every sin can be traced back to some form of selfishness or greed. Jesus demonstrated the ultimate act of selflessness, and He is our model in behavior and attitude. Set your mind on others and their needs. Your heart will follow, and soon your actions will demonstrate the love that God has for the other people in your world. As you go through your workday, look on your colleagues with the eyes of God instead of your own. See them as God sees them. As you look at your family, determine how God wants to meet their needs and then submit yourself to be used by God as His instrument in their lives.
There's an old saying that goes something like this: "Christians are a lot like tea bags. You don't know how strong they are until they're in hot water." In other words, our Christian witness is only as strong as our ability to walk in obedience and represent Christ's attitude when times are tough. The closer we get to God, the more we know Him and the more we're able to reflect Him in good times and bad. Commit to spending more time with God in the days ahead. You won't regret it!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 5
Love is ... not rude! 1 Corinthians 13:5
Do you remember when you were dating your spouse? Do you remember how you were on your best behavior in order to make a good impression? As we settle into a marriage relationship, it's easy to feel as though it's not as important to make a good impression anymore. Men can do all sorts of crass things in front of their wives. Women can become quarrelsome and nagging.
While it is important for us to be authentic and transparent with our mates, it is just as important to be courteous and extend the same kinds of manners to our spouses as we would to strangers. "Why can't I just be myself?" you may ask. You should be yourself; but if "being yourself" includes being rude, then your behavior needs to change. Rudeness is never acceptable within any kind of Christian relationship, let alone a Christian marriage.
Do you remember when you were dating your spouse? Do you remember how you were on your best behavior in order to make a good impression? As we settle into a marriage relationship, it's easy to feel as though it's not as important to make a good impression anymore. Men can do all sorts of crass things in front of their wives. Women can become quarrelsome and nagging.
While it is important for us to be authentic and transparent with our mates, it is just as important to be courteous and extend the same kinds of manners to our spouses as we would to strangers. "Why can't I just be myself?" you may ask. You should be yourself; but if "being yourself" includes being rude, then your behavior needs to change. Rudeness is never acceptable within any kind of Christian relationship, let alone a Christian marriage.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 4
God created men and women very differently. We're wired with different purposes and functionality, so it's no wonder that we have difficulty communicating sometimes.
Guys say exactly what they mean and mean what they say. Gals sometimes leave some gaps and allow their fellas to listen for what is implied. This isn't always done maliciously, it's just an exampe of how we communicate differently.
Do you remember when you could say of your spouse, "I can't stop thinking about you." For some of us, that was a long time ago. However, thinking is a key to a successful love relationship.
When you think about the other person, you're allowing your intellect to initiate your emotions. What you think about a person or situation determines how you feel about it. Your thoughts will ultimately determine what you do when you're around that person, too!
If we think about our spouse, then there's less chance of confusion and miscommunication. The authors of The Love Dare write, "A husband should listen to his wife and learn to be considerate of her unspoken messages. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing while meaning another." To accomplish this, we must be thinking deliberately and intentionally about the welfare of our mate.
Guys say exactly what they mean and mean what they say. Gals sometimes leave some gaps and allow their fellas to listen for what is implied. This isn't always done maliciously, it's just an exampe of how we communicate differently.
Do you remember when you could say of your spouse, "I can't stop thinking about you." For some of us, that was a long time ago. However, thinking is a key to a successful love relationship.
When you think about the other person, you're allowing your intellect to initiate your emotions. What you think about a person or situation determines how you feel about it. Your thoughts will ultimately determine what you do when you're around that person, too!
If we think about our spouse, then there's less chance of confusion and miscommunication. The authors of The Love Dare write, "A husband should listen to his wife and learn to be considerate of her unspoken messages. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing while meaning another." To accomplish this, we must be thinking deliberately and intentionally about the welfare of our mate.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 3
Love does not seek its own. 1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV
In other words, love isn't selfish. In our culture, it's difficult not to get caught up in my own world and not expect everyone around me to be as concerned about "me" as I am, right? Even though I think I'm entitled to have as much happiness as possible, sometimes someone else's happiness should come before mine. Belive it or not, my desires just aren't as important as I think they are.
Ever since we were toddlers, we've been throwing fits when we don't get what we want. As adults, our "fits" don't look the same, though. As adults, our fits are much more sophisticated. They are demonstrated in the form of "the silent treatment", heavy sighs, slamming doors and manipulation. Isn't it interesting how we can be so forgiving of ourselves while having such high expectations for our mates?
It's critically important to the health of a marriage for each person to be deliberate about putting the other person's needs above your own. The authors of The Love Dare write, "The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage." We try to lose ourselves all the time with fantasy, alcohol, drugs, housework, our kids and our work. Why not try losing yourself in selflessness?
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 NIV
In other words, love isn't selfish. In our culture, it's difficult not to get caught up in my own world and not expect everyone around me to be as concerned about "me" as I am, right? Even though I think I'm entitled to have as much happiness as possible, sometimes someone else's happiness should come before mine. Belive it or not, my desires just aren't as important as I think they are.
Ever since we were toddlers, we've been throwing fits when we don't get what we want. As adults, our "fits" don't look the same, though. As adults, our fits are much more sophisticated. They are demonstrated in the form of "the silent treatment", heavy sighs, slamming doors and manipulation. Isn't it interesting how we can be so forgiving of ourselves while having such high expectations for our mates?
It's critically important to the health of a marriage for each person to be deliberate about putting the other person's needs above your own. The authors of The Love Dare write, "The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage." We try to lose ourselves all the time with fantasy, alcohol, drugs, housework, our kids and our work. Why not try losing yourself in selflessness?
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 NIV
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Coach of the Week
Had a wonderful date night with my wife last night. It had been too long since our last one! Looking forward to getting that routine going again...
In other news, Coach Jim Zorn of the Washington Redskins did something that hadn't been done since the early 1970's - a rookie Skins coach beat the Cowboys in Dallas. What a game! Zorn was honored this week by being named the NFL Coach of the Week.
Let's hear it!
Hip Hip Hurray!
Hip Hip Hurray!
Hip Hip Hurray!
In other news, Coach Jim Zorn of the Washington Redskins did something that hadn't been done since the early 1970's - a rookie Skins coach beat the Cowboys in Dallas. What a game! Zorn was honored this week by being named the NFL Coach of the Week.
Let's hear it!
Hip Hip Hurray!
Hip Hip Hurray!
Hip Hip Hurray!
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 2
Love is Kind
Kindness and love go hand-in-hand. You can't find one without the other. Most friendships, and especially marriage relationships, begin with kindness as the attraction towards one another. Do you remember the kindness you and your spouse showed one another when you were courting?
While patience is reactive in nature, kindness is proactive in nature. "Kindness creates a blessing," writes the authors of The Love Dare. "Kindness makes you likeable." When was the last time you did something "sweet" for your spouse?
You can find kindness as an instruction for us throughout the Bible. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul writes that we are "to be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Proverbs 3:3-4 instructs us "Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find factor and good repute in the sight of God and man."
Kindness is lived out in being gentle with your spouse, ceasing harsh words. Kindness is manifested in helpfulness, meeting the needs of the moment without concern for rights or reward. Kindness is a willingness to be flexible and agreeable. Finally, kindness initiates love without waiting for it first.
This weekend at City on a Hill Church, we're continuing our series on the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, and we'll be discussing kindness and goodness. These are similar words and concepts in both the English language as well as the original Greek in which Galatians was written. The word used to describe Christ's yoke in Matthew 11:30 is the same Paul uses in Galatians 5 to describe the fruit of the Spirit. It does not chafe. Love is goodness that is at both strong and kind.
Kindness and love go hand-in-hand. You can't find one without the other. Most friendships, and especially marriage relationships, begin with kindness as the attraction towards one another. Do you remember the kindness you and your spouse showed one another when you were courting?
While patience is reactive in nature, kindness is proactive in nature. "Kindness creates a blessing," writes the authors of The Love Dare. "Kindness makes you likeable." When was the last time you did something "sweet" for your spouse?
You can find kindness as an instruction for us throughout the Bible. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul writes that we are "to be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Proverbs 3:3-4 instructs us "Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find factor and good repute in the sight of God and man."
Kindness is lived out in being gentle with your spouse, ceasing harsh words. Kindness is manifested in helpfulness, meeting the needs of the moment without concern for rights or reward. Kindness is a willingness to be flexible and agreeable. Finally, kindness initiates love without waiting for it first.
This weekend at City on a Hill Church, we're continuing our series on the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, and we'll be discussing kindness and goodness. These are similar words and concepts in both the English language as well as the original Greek in which Galatians was written. The word used to describe Christ's yoke in Matthew 11:30 is the same Paul uses in Galatians 5 to describe the fruit of the Spirit. It does not chafe. Love is goodness that is at both strong and kind.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Love Dare - Day 1
The Love Dare is a book that is featured in the new movie Fireproof with Kirk Cameron. The book essentially dares someone to spend 40 days focusing on improving a marriage by enhancing one's ability to love better and more Biblically.
I'm going to go through each of the forty days in hopes that we can journey together and learn how to love more deeply, more effectively and more Biblically!
Day 1-
Love is Patient
We've all probably heard the words written by Paul to the Church at Corinth that are so often quoted in weddings: "Love is patient." We've all heard that patience is a virtue and some may be familiar with the instruction that patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. While most are familiar with these concepts, it's another thing to actually practice patience deliberately in our lives.
In a culture that is saturated in instant gratification, patience is not something we're accustomed to practicing on a regular basis - particularly when it comes to something we really want. The Love Dare states that "Patience is where love meets wisdom.... It understands that everyone fails." When you stop to think about it, that's truly profound.
Do you come home from a long day at work and snap at your spouse for the mistakes he/she makes - not because the mistake is significant, but because your impatience doesn't want to deal with yet another issue?
Does an inappropriate attitude erupt inside when your spouse is enjoying a TV show when you think he/she should be mowing the lawn or doing the laundry?
Patience is difficult, and none of us are perfect at it. If love and wisdom are your goals, then patience will be an attribute you'll pursue, knowing that a small dose is attainable in your own strength, but the necessary dose is attainable only through a submission to the Holy Spirit.
I'm going to go through each of the forty days in hopes that we can journey together and learn how to love more deeply, more effectively and more Biblically!
Day 1-
Love is Patient
We've all probably heard the words written by Paul to the Church at Corinth that are so often quoted in weddings: "Love is patient." We've all heard that patience is a virtue and some may be familiar with the instruction that patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. While most are familiar with these concepts, it's another thing to actually practice patience deliberately in our lives.
In a culture that is saturated in instant gratification, patience is not something we're accustomed to practicing on a regular basis - particularly when it comes to something we really want. The Love Dare states that "Patience is where love meets wisdom.... It understands that everyone fails." When you stop to think about it, that's truly profound.
Do you come home from a long day at work and snap at your spouse for the mistakes he/she makes - not because the mistake is significant, but because your impatience doesn't want to deal with yet another issue?
Does an inappropriate attitude erupt inside when your spouse is enjoying a TV show when you think he/she should be mowing the lawn or doing the laundry?
Patience is difficult, and none of us are perfect at it. If love and wisdom are your goals, then patience will be an attribute you'll pursue, knowing that a small dose is attainable in your own strength, but the necessary dose is attainable only through a submission to the Holy Spirit.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Weekly Prayer Time for Culpeper
Just got back from spending my lunch hour with several folks from our community. We meet every Wednesday at Reformation Lutheran Church to pray for Culpeper - the community, citizens, churches, government, schools, etc.
We had a great time today!
We had a great time today!
Marriage
In a few weeks City on a Hill Church is going to embark on a series on the issue of marriage - an effective marriage, more specifically. What's an effective marriage? Depends on who you ask, I guess. But let's face it, those of who are married or who ever hope to be married want a marriage that is peaceful, united and strong enough to weather the storms of life. I can't imagine anyone not including those three descriptions in the ideally effective marriage.
The problem is that we share a common goal, but the journey to reach that goal is as varied as the people who live in our community. Certainly, there may be more than one way to accomplish these ends for a season, but there is only one way to have peace, unity and strength throughout the life of the marriage: God's plan.
God's plan includes the following deliberate designs:
-Men and women are created differently and are not the same
-The love for our spouse is modeled for us in the love that God has for us
-In marriage, we have a responsibility to keep a promise
-Marriage is a devotion between a man and a woman; when a spouse becomes devoted to a sin or temptation other than his/her spouse, the marriage is weakened
-Marriage includes a forgiving love
-Marriage includes an unconditional, selfless love
I'm so excited to start this series. With so much crisis going on in our lives today, we need to find solace in our marriage. Please join us!
The problem is that we share a common goal, but the journey to reach that goal is as varied as the people who live in our community. Certainly, there may be more than one way to accomplish these ends for a season, but there is only one way to have peace, unity and strength throughout the life of the marriage: God's plan.
God's plan includes the following deliberate designs:
-Men and women are created differently and are not the same
-The love for our spouse is modeled for us in the love that God has for us
-In marriage, we have a responsibility to keep a promise
-Marriage is a devotion between a man and a woman; when a spouse becomes devoted to a sin or temptation other than his/her spouse, the marriage is weakened
-Marriage includes a forgiving love
-Marriage includes an unconditional, selfless love
I'm so excited to start this series. With so much crisis going on in our lives today, we need to find solace in our marriage. Please join us!
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