Love Seeks to Understand
"We've been together for a long time. I think I know you by now."
"I just don't understand you!"
Have you ever said either one of those things to your mate? Probably so. The thing is that there is some truth in both of those statements for every one of us who are married.
Do you remember when you were dating your spouse and you were trying to get to know him/her? If you were like me, you wanted to know as much as you could. Just because the wedding occurs doesn't mean the pursuit of understanding your spouse should stop, though.
We all need to continue to seek to understand and know our mate. There are levels of understanding that can take a lifetime to reach. This knowledge will help in all kinds of situations, especially the tough circumstances that every marriage experiences. God's Word tells us "Good understanding wins favor." (Proverbs 13:15)
To gain back some intimacy in marriage, we can make a commitment to know our spouse. To do that, we need to remember a few suggestions by the authors of The Love Dare:
Ask Questions. Be genuine and assertive in trying to know and understand your spouse on the deepest levels of their personality and behaviors.
Listen. When your mate is speaking, take the time to not just hear what he/she is saying, but listen to what he/she is saying. Stop thinking about what you want to say, and really listen to the words that are being spoken to you.
Ask God for Discernment. God is our Creator and He's the One who knows us better than we know ourselves. Ask God for wisdom and discernment in understanding your mate.
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