The Love Dare - Day 17

Love promotes intimacy

If you've never read Safe People and Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend, I highly recommend you do. These books can change your life with regard to the relationships you choose to have with others and how you handle yourself within relationships. The premise of the books is that some people are safe and others are not and we all need to set boundaries within our relationships that are specific to that particular relationship in order to preserve our safety and emotional health. For example, safe people don't make you feel stupid for expressing your opinion. Safe people don't make you feel afraid to be yourself. The boundary for a safe person in your life is a lot more free and close than one with someone who is not safe.

Marriage is a wonderful relationship to have, but within every marriage, there is baggage. When a person marries someone, each partner brings his/her baggage of emotional insecurities quirks into the relationship. It's that sacred relationship that is meant to be where two people become more intimate than in any other relationship. In Genesis 2:25, Adam and Eve are described as "naked" and "not ashamed". Our emotional and physical intimacy with our spouse should be described similarly within our marriage.

The authors of The Love Dare remind us that "Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval. They should not walk on eggshells in the very place where they outght to feel the most comfortable in their bare feet... Loving (your mate) well should be your life's work."

Marriage brings a commitment and responsibility to play a role in healing and repairing in a loving way. It also brings a commitment and responsibility to simply accept someone's else faults with gentleness and meekness. The quality of your marriage relationship will, in large part, be graded on how you handle these two commitments and responsibilities.

If you struggle in these areas, start the process of change within yourself and begin to rebuild the trust and intimacy that should exist within the confines of your marriage. Remember, God's Word tells us, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). Be a safe person to your mate.